Help Me Overcome My Unbelief

(This is a picture from yesterday. I love how the morning light shines on these rocks)

I am really enjoying this journey so far! It has been so motivating to get out of bed before sunrise even on the weekends. I did not actually get to see the sun rise this morning, because of the thick cloud cover, but that's okay! I got about an hour of devotional and prayer time before the rain started (but no worries, I was prepared with a Shamu poncho and a rain jacket). I started this Prayer Circle study at my church this week, so my post today is coming from my journaling and reading from the Prayer Circle book that was provided to us for the study. I also want to say that I am praying that God is speaking through me in my posts and that these are not my words, but what God wants me to put down on these pages.

I am learning that journaling is a powerful tool for me to keep my mind focused on my prayer and also hearing from God without my thoughts jumping over to "what am I going to have for breakfast when I get back?" or anything of the sort. When that happens, I ask God to redirect and refocus my thoughts to what He wants me to hear from Him. Today, our prompt was to ask God to reveal where our unbelief is in our lives and to ask for forgiveness for our unbelief. 

There is a passage in the Bible about a demon possessed boy being healed by Jesus. Read Mark 9:14-29 for more details (this story can also be found in Matthew 17: 14-20 and in Luke 9:37-43). The father asked Jesus if he could help, would he please heal his boy. Jesus replied with if?? and the man asked Jesus to help him overcome his unbelief! That is such a great request to have for God. We need to ask God to reveal our unbelief to us and to work toward having "faith as small as a mustard seed" (Matthew17:20). I don't know about you, but that overwhelms me that Jesus thought even his disciples lacked faith, those are some big shoes to fill! But it's all a work in progress, Jesus continued to teach them and extend their faith throughout His life here on Earth. He didn't just give up on them and tell them they were hopeless, He taught them and they moved on and tried again. The same is true for us, we don't always get it right the first time, second time, tenth time, hundredth time, but Jesus is there to say "Let's try this again." I can just see a smile on his face and feel that warm, fuzzy feeling He probably has when He just loves that you are at least trying.

Where is your unbelief? Mine is that I question the fact that I can do all things through Christ, Jesus. I think for some reason, that I just can't get it right and that other people have way more things going for them or worse things they need help with from God and mine is secondary. In reality, God is able to take care of anything and everything from everyone. He has the power to work in the lives of all 7 billion of us at the exact same time, big or small! I need to learn that God can heal me from my panic attacks, my shame and guilt, and my anger. I like to be in control of my life and need to learn to let it go and put my faith in God that He will heal me if I just let Him. I do not need to take control and learn to only cope with it for the rest of my life. He is the Great Physician and He has healed so many people, I am no different than those people. It just takes faith, belief, and work on my part to allow God to do His works in my life. God revealed this to me throughout the process of my journaling this morning, so I encourage you to just ask God, see what comes to mind.